Single Mom Changes

Almost a year ago (maybe longer) I thought that my email was hacked because no one could send me anything even though there was still plenty of space available in my account, so I created a new email with gmail. Afterwards I realized that I by doing it the way I did, I wasn't going to be able to just change my email on my blog. Dumb Dumb Dumb. So I have had to keep logging in under my old email and I have missed comments. Sorry. Today I figured out how to add my working email to the blog and now I can update more regularly. I'm very excited about this. Look for new updates on all the pages, and I am even working on adding a new page.... So come in, enjoy and tell me what you think. I look forward to hearing from you.

Easter Resolutions

Most people create New Year's Resolutions and give up after just a few weeks. I decided to be different this year. I didn't really set any New Year's Resolutions, but I have decided that I am going to set an Easter Resolution. The only difference though, I want whatever habit that I am changing/creating to already be established by the time Easter arrives, in just a little over 1 week from today. So what is the new resolution you ask? Well I have decided the month of April is going to be my 4 for 4. What this means is that I am going to work on 4 different tasks. I'm not going to kill myself trying to make major changes all at once because I already know it's not going to happen. Yes, I might be able to complete each task daily for about a week or so, but then I will get discouraged because it's hard to change and give up. So starting April 1, 2012 (and yes, I know it's April Fools) I will be adding in 1 special exercise that I must complete each day. This exercise will be continued every day for the entire month. As the weeks progress in the month I will include another task to my list. If anyone is interested in joining me, please do and make sure to let me know what you are doing to change your life for the better. :)

I've updated the following pages of my blog, so make sure to check that out too.
Books,
Music
Fitter mom
Cooking

Hope you enjoy!

Reflections

Growing up I use to sneak into my mom and dad's bedroom so I could read my mom's journal. I loved reading it because she started it when I was a baby. My mom wasn't as consistant as she would have liked so many of the opening lines were along the lines of "it's been a while since I've written, here's what's happened." As a young stupid child I thought that was giggle worthy. I mean, how hard could it be to find time each day to write? HA! Yup, I was young and stupid. It's hard being an adult and even harder being a parent and if you haven't gotten into the habit of daily writing as a child, it's even harder to find those few minutes to spare. Tonight I think I made a pretty good dent on catching up on my writing. I've updated most of my blog pages, and I'm kind of excited about it. Here's a list of the updated pages:

The fitter mom
Music for all times
Cooking for everyone
Books I love to Read

I don't really watch too many movies anymore so I haven't updated that, but I will... Promise.

Friends that really aren't friends

Today I found out the hard way that people I once considered my friend, really isn't. There were several people that acted like they liked me, but in truth, just tolerated me because I was around. This is one of the hardest things for me to post about because this has been one of my biggest fears since childhood. You've seen "Family Matter's" right? The show about the dorky genius that adored his neighbors and bugged the tar outta them, and they just tolerated his presence. They didn't like him, not really, not for many many years, but he was completely blind to them? Yeah, Steve Urkel is me, minus being the genius. I met a group of ladies online when I was pregnant with my daughter. We've talked each other through the hardest of child rearing issues, laughed at the funny things going on in our lives, asked advice on relationships, and even fitness. It is to the fitness group this post is aimed towards. I enjoyed talking to these women. I enjoyed seeking their advice on what wasn't working for me. I took their advice to heart. Some didn't apply to me, some did, but i appreciated them none the less. Tonight has shown me exactly who these women are. 


This morning I weighed myself, and after 4 days of gaining weight, I was a little frustrated because I am doing my best to eat healthy. I am eating foods I enjoy, and I am staying in my weight watcher's points. I have been exercising almost daily this month, 9 days out of 12 so not a bad thing, with the last 2 days being 1 hour workouts. I'm getting into my groove. So I posted my frustration and while I thought I was just answering people's questions, apparently they saw it as me giving excuses. I sincerely asked questions to help pinpoint where I am failing (thought I was failing, but AH HA! I actually lost .4 ounces). Well tonight one of those ladies deemed herself Lord and Chief of Weight Loss and decided she needed to call me out on my failings. Did she have the whole story? Nope. Did she really have any clue what she was talking about? NOPE! Here is a little of the conversation:

Her: I have been thinking a lot about your posts lately and I mean this in the nicest way possible, so here goes...
You are not losing weight because you are lying to yourself. You are not going to lose any weight without eating healthy and working out regularly. You post questions then get mad when we give you honest answers.
You complain you don't have the $$ for healthy food, yet frozen veggies, olive oil, salt pepper, and chicken are not what I would consider pricey foods.
Someone suggested that you cut out processed for for which you commented that you don't eat processed food. Then 2 hours later posted about graham cracker with peanut butter and whip cream. All of which are processed and have little if any nutritional value.
You defend the above by stating the recipe was from the biggest loser cook book. Those people workout for HOURS everyday. I also have the biggest loser cook book and there is NO white bread, white rice, sugar, or white pasta. In fact they recommend that you give up bread all together. I also could not find 1 recipe that suggested you put chocolate sauce on breakfast.
Then we are onto exercise, if you don't do it you won't lose weight, PERIOD.

We are a group of women trying to get fit and when you post recipes for food with the word cheesy it is not helping the morale. The same is true when you ask for help then ignore all our answers or make excuses for everything. You are capable of losing weight, getting healthy, being fit, and living a healthier lifestyle as long as you commit to it. I would love for you to able able to lose some weight and I am here to support you when you are ready to help yourself.

Me:ok seriously??? you thought this was necessary to post? you have no flippin clue. i do not post every single thing that is going on in my life. you do not know. HOW DARE YOU call me out like this. I did not defend the graham cracker recipe. I simply stated that was where i got it. do you have every biggest loser book? probably not. the banana split breakfast was in the family cookbook. if you want i will take pictures to show you exactly where the stupid thing is. 

and when i asked about what foods were processed, i was honestly wanting an answer so i could know so i could change that. i wasn't defending my self. I WAS ASKING FOR HELP! 

and if you dont' think i'm exercising, then please tell my stomach to stop hurting because it hurts so bad i can barely move. I have been exercising, have i exercised as much as some of you ladies? no, but i'm doing something. I know me, and if i go full throttle and kill myself the 1st day i'm not going to exercise again for a week, so i've been easing myself into it. so far this week (since saturday) i've exercised for 2 hours, plus i've been doing other stuff around my house. 

NEXT TIME YOU FEEL THE NEED TO SCHOOL ME, DO IT BY MESSAGE BECAUSE FRANKLY I DO NOT NEED THIS CRAP FROM YOU! i am so pissed off i am shaking. this is not what i need when i'm trying to make better choices. Fxxx Yxx HER!

(I need to interject, it takes A LOT to get me to swear, especially one such as this... My fury overrode my better judgement)

Her:It's fine if you feel that way, I am saying I have a been there, we are here to help each other. You seem to ask questions then get mad when I don't answer the way you want me to. I was offering a bit of advice, the same advice I would give anyone else here if I felt they needed it. The same advice in fact someone gave me and it worked.

Mom1: Her is just trying to help you, but it seems like you are always resisting our help, and your comment back to her proved that.

Me:this is absolute bull... forgive me for having questions, for asking advice. HEAVEN FORBID. I didn't ask your advice, nor did i want it. comment on something i post, fine, but freaking calling me out? I don't know where you think i'm mad... what post did i post where i was mad/upset about a comment someone said? not today... not in anyway shape or form. the comments mentioned are things i'm working on. if there was any "argument" is was over whether soup broth was more calories than soup solids... I MEAN SERIOUSLY!

Mom1: There is nothing wrong with having questions and seeking advice, that's what this group is for. But then try taking our advice instead of brushing off everything we say. It just seems to me that a lot of your posts and comments are very contradicting, which is frustrating.

Me:what is contradicting??? seriously? I want to know, i'm asking. maybe i don't explain myself well, but pardon me.

Mom1: And I think the "F U" to Her was completely unneccessary.

Me: well considering i feel like i'm being attacked... i think it was highly justified. kick me from the group... ACTUALLY! i'm kicking myself. i don't need this.

(and here is where I deleted myself from the group. Now for the kicker part.)

• Mom1: We're not attacking you, just trying to help.
  

  
  Mom2: Can I just say that isn't what this board is for? To be called out on stuff once in awhile I think the mantra here is we all have bad days we all seek advice but we all need to be called out that is all I'm going to say
• Mom3:  I think it's always hard to hear that we are doing something wrong or shouldn't be eating this or that and it's natural to want to defend our choices, but sometimes we need to hear the honest truth. And especially for someone new coming in to the group, or myself who is trying to get myself back on track, it's not great to delude myself that peanut butter and whipped cream is going to be a good choice. It's great that you are trying to make better choices and it IS important to start slow on the exercise. But as Her said, this is a community of people all looking for support and looking for help in making better choices, so just maybe keep that in mind before posting something that might be questionable as a "healthy" option.
• 
  Mom4: Me, please calm down. We certainly don't want you to leave the group. I agree with the others that Her was just trying to offer some advice because it does seem like you post quite a bit about being confused. I am NOT saying that is a bad thing. ALL of us get confused at one point or another. You may not necessarily get mad when you post questions, but sometimes questions are posted and when others respond, you contradict them at every turn, defending everything. Again, please don't be mad. Some of us have been called out before - called me out for not logging into MFP after I called everyone else out then didn't log. I have loved this group from the beginning because there's never any drama. So please, don't get so upset.
• 
  Her:  Exactly, I am not attacking you. Would you have been happier if I msg you? I know you are working on things, we all are. Heck last week I posted about not losing, people commented and I used thier advice.
• 
  Mom5:  Me she is trying to help. No where in there was she rude or condescending. We often bring out when someone needs some help and she is merely pointing out some things. The fu was completely uncalled for and is not acceptable whether or not you agree with how she was trying ti help.
• Her: Oh and I have been called out a few times too. It's okay to be mad...
• Mom6: As far as I can tell she already left the group....so yeah
• Mom7:  Don't leave the group. We are here to help each other. I do agree with her. Please see we are really here to see you succeed. And for honest open support.
• Her: I am sorry if I offend anyone, but it was all real advice. It's not always fun to hear. I hope no one else leaves : (
• Mom7:  It needed to be done. I was going to pm her. But didn't get to it yet. She had already De friended me. So oh well. But it's not I only here. Main group she was the same way. I hope she can find something that works for her.
  
• Mom8: Her thank you for saying what I was thinking In such a tactful way.
• Her: Thanks guys, i thought i was nice but truthful.
• Mom9: She deleted me too, but I still her status update? Facebook glitch?
• Mom10: Meh, don't take it personally, she blocked me after I called her out on her moving thread in the main MSN group, and then randomly unblocked me a couple weeks ago. I don't think the truth sits well with her. It's all good.
• Mom11: I saw that also. I hope she can find her way in life.
• Mom7: She had 3 face book accounts. You may have had her twice add friend. She needs to clean out both accounts
• Mom12: Just my 2 cents, I think from seeing her get defensive in previous posts it would have been better to PM her. I agree whole heartedly with the post, I really do. I think the bfast recipe she posted was total BS & the other post about PB whipped cream & graham crackers too. I'm just sad that she felt attacked & chose to leave. I don't think she had support outside of this board when it comes to losing weight. I hope she finds inner strength & continue on to a healthier lifestyle.
  

  
  Mom9: You can't ask questions and then shoot down every single helpful response you get with some excuse or reason why it won't work for you. That is frustrating beyond belief.
• Mom9: Don't mind me, I am just venting now :)
• Mom10: Vent away. I was still scratching my head over how she thought something with hot fudge was A) breakfast food and B) diet food.
  

  
  Mom12: Sometimes it is hard to hear the truth. 
• Also I was feeling like all the time and energy spent could have been better spent on something else. It was like hitting your head up against a brick wall.
  
• Mom13: She unfriended me and I still saw her fb update. With the new fb settings you have to go and unsubscribe from someone's updates. If their account is private, you'll automatically be unsubscribed. Hers appears to be public so you have to go to her page and click unsubscribe.
  

  
  Mom9: Oh, okay! I forgot about all the FB changes.
• Mom7: Truth hurts. I've had truth spoken to me. You can either embrace it for the better or just turn a deaf ear. I was hoping she would embrace it. Her posts were tiring. I hope she finds peace. I think she is going through something personally. Her posts here and the main have given that away.
  
• Mom12: Yeah the post about pb and whipped cream had me scratching my head. Wth?
  I managed to hold my tongue.
  In general I think people were very tolerant, patient, and helpful.
  

  
  Mom10: After our spat on the main MSN board, I learned it just wasn't worth it, she hears what she wants to hear, ignores the rest, and that's that. But kudos to you all trying to help her, and for having the patience. Maybe something will get through and she figures it out.

  Mom14: Wow looks like I missed our first MGF drama. I hope she finds the support she needs but I won't miss all the excuses. The last thing we need when we're trying to acheive a healthy lifestyle are excuses. I hope that someone will call me out if I get too far off track.

  __________________________________________________________________________________________________________

  For 2 hours, they continued to bash me. This totally contradicts the "In general I think people were very tolerant, patient, and helpful." comment from mom 12 listed above dontcha think? They were wasting time answering my questions. Now I do admit some of the ladies were sincere and I will miss talking to them, but such a hateful crowd, nope, not in the least. I will continue on my path to a healthy life WITHOUT them. They can keep their snide backstabbing, two-faced selves to each other and personally I hope they rot in hell. I may not be perfect. I may not know everything. But one thing I'm sure about is I do not want to be where I'm not wanted, and by these hurtful comments, that's exactly where I was. It's no wonder I was never motivated to do anything while in that group... the negative energy just oozed out around them. 

  
  

  Remember: Karma will get you in the end!

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  
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The Fit Mom

I decided that it's time for this Single mom to get fit, and so I created a page for anyone interested in viewing it. Check it out. Hopefully you'll enjoy my journey to being fit and the recipes that I'm eating that's getting me there.