This morning I weighed myself, and after 4 days of gaining weight, I was a little frustrated because I am doing my best to eat healthy. I am eating foods I enjoy, and I am staying in my weight watcher's points. I have been exercising almost daily this month, 9 days out of 12 so not a bad thing, with the last 2 days being 1 hour workouts. I'm getting into my groove. So I posted my frustration and while I thought I was just answering people's questions, apparently they saw it as me giving excuses. I sincerely asked questions to help pinpoint where I am failing (thought I was failing, but AH HA! I actually lost .4 ounces). Well tonight one of those ladies deemed herself Lord and Chief of Weight Loss and decided she needed to call me out on my failings. Did she have the whole story? Nope. Did she really have any clue what she was talking about? NOPE! Here is a little of the conversation:
Her: I have been thinking a lot about your posts lately and I mean this in the nicest way possible, so here goes...
You are not losing weight because you are lying to yourself. You are not going to lose any weight without eating healthy and working out regularly. You post questions then get mad when we give you honest answers.
You complain you don't have the $$ for healthy food, yet frozen veggies, olive oil, salt pepper, and chicken are not what I would consider pricey foods.
Someone suggested that you cut out processed for for which you commented that you don't eat processed food. Then 2 hours later posted about graham cracker with peanut butter and whip cream. All of which are processed and have little if any nutritional value.
You defend the above by stating the recipe was from the biggest loser cook book. Those people workout for HOURS everyday. I also have the biggest loser cook book and there is NO white bread, white rice, sugar, or white pasta. In fact they recommend that you give up bread all together. I also could not find 1 recipe that suggested you put chocolate sauce on breakfast.
Then we are onto exercise, if you don't do it you won't lose weight, PERIOD.
We are a group of women trying to get fit and when you post recipes for food with the word cheesy it is not helping the morale. The same is true when you ask for help then ignore all our answers or make excuses for everything. You are capable of losing weight, getting healthy, being fit, and living a healthier lifestyle as long as you commit to it. I would love for you to able able to lose some weight and I am here to support you when you are ready to help yourself.
Me:ok seriously??? you thought this was necessary to post? you have no flippin clue. i do not post every single thing that is going on in my life. you do not know. HOW DARE YOU call me out like this. I did not defend the graham cracker recipe. I simply stated that was where i got it. do you have every biggest loser book? probably not. the banana split breakfast was in the family cookbook. if you want i will take pictures to show you exactly where the stupid thing is.
and when i asked about what foods were processed, i was honestly wanting an answer so i could know so i could change that. i wasn't defending my self. I WAS ASKING FOR HELP!
and if you dont' think i'm exercising, then please tell my stomach to stop hurting because it hurts so bad i can barely move. I have been exercising, have i exercised as much as some of you ladies? no, but i'm doing something. I know me, and if i go full throttle and kill myself the 1st day i'm not going to exercise again for a week, so i've been easing myself into it. so far this week (since saturday) i've exercised for 2 hours, plus i've been doing other stuff around my house.
NEXT TIME YOU FEEL THE NEED TO SCHOOL ME, DO IT BY MESSAGE BECAUSE FRANKLY I DO NOT NEED THIS CRAP FROM YOU! i am so pissed off i am shaking. this is not what i need when i'm trying to make better choices. Fxxx Yxx HER!
(I need to interject, it takes A LOT to get me to swear, especially one such as this... My fury overrode my better judgement)
Her:It's fine if you feel that way, I am saying I have a been there, we are here to help each other. You seem to ask questions then get mad when I don't answer the way you want me to. I was offering a bit of advice, the same advice I would give anyone else here if I felt they needed it. The same advice in fact someone gave me and it worked.
Mom1: Her is just trying to help you, but it seems like you are always resisting our help, and your comment back to her proved that.
Me:this is absolute bull... forgive me for having questions, for asking advice. HEAVEN FORBID. I didn't ask your advice, nor did i want it. comment on something i post, fine, but freaking calling me out? I don't know where you think i'm mad... what post did i post where i was mad/upset about a comment someone said? not today... not in anyway shape or form. the comments mentioned are things i'm working on. if there was any "argument" is was over whether soup broth was more calories than soup solids... I MEAN SERIOUSLY!
Mom1: There is nothing wrong with having questions and seeking advice, that's what this group is for. But then try taking our advice instead of brushing off everything we say. It just seems to me that a lot of your posts and comments are very contradicting, which is frustrating.
Me:what is contradicting??? seriously? I want to know, i'm asking. maybe i don't explain myself well, but pardon me.
Mom1: And I think the "F U" to Her was completely unneccessary.
Me: well considering i feel like i'm being attacked... i think it was highly justified. kick me from the group... ACTUALLY! i'm kicking myself. i don't need this.
(and here is where I deleted myself from the group. Now for the kicker part.)
- Mom1: We're not attacking you, just trying to help.
Mom2: Can I just say that isn't what this board is for? To be called out on stuff once in awhile I think the mantra here is we all have bad days we all seek advice but we all need to be called out that is all I'm going to say - Mom3: I think it's always hard to hear that we are doing something wrong or shouldn't be eating this or that and it's natural to want to defend our choices, but sometimes we need to hear the honest truth. And especially for someone new coming in to the group, or myself who is trying to get myself back on track, it's not great to delude myself that peanut butter and whipped cream is going to be a good choice. It's great that you are trying to make better choices and it IS important to start slow on the exercise. But as Her said, this is a community of people all looking for support and looking for help in making better choices, so just maybe keep that in mind before posting something that might be questionable as a "healthy" option.
Mom4: Me, please calm down. We certainly don't want you to leave the group. I agree with the others that Her was just trying to offer some advice because it does seem like you post quite a bit about being confused. I am NOT saying that is a bad thing. ALL of us get confused at one point or another. You may not necessarily get mad when you post questions, but sometimes questions are posted and when others respond, you contradict them at every turn, defending everything. Again, please don't be mad. Some of us have been called out before - called me out for not logging into MFP after I called everyone else out then didn't log. I have loved this group from the beginning because there's never any drama. So please, don't get so upset.- Her: Oh and I have been called out a few times too. It's okay to be mad...
- Mom8: Her thank you for saying what I was thinking In such a tactful way.
- Mom12: Just my 2 cents, I think from seeing her get defensive in previous posts it would have been better to PM her. I agree whole heartedly with the post, I really do. I think the bfast recipe she posted was total BS & the other post about PB whipped cream & graham crackers too. I'm just sad that she felt attacked & chose to leave. I don't think she had support outside of this board when it comes to losing weight. I hope she finds inner strength & continue on to a healthier lifestyle.
- Mom9: Don't mind me, I am just venting now :)
- Also I was feeling like all the time and energy spent could have been better spent on something else. It was like hitting your head up against a brick wall.
- Mom13: She unfriended me and I still saw her fb update. With the new fb settings you have to go and unsubscribe from someone's updates. If their account is private, you'll automatically be unsubscribed. Hers appears to be public so you have to go to her page and click unsubscribe.
- Mom7: Truth hurts. I've had truth spoken to me. You can either embrace it for the better or just turn a deaf ear. I was hoping she would embrace it. Her posts were tiring. I hope she finds peace. I think she is going through something personally. Her posts here and the main have given that away.
- Mom12: Yeah the post about pb and whipped cream had me scratching my head. Wth?
I managed to hold my tongue.
In general I think people were very tolerant, patient, and helpful.
Mom10: After our spat on the main MSN board, I learned it just wasn't worth it, she hears what she wants to hear, ignores the rest, and that's that. But kudos to you all trying to help her, and for having the patience. Maybe something will get through and she figures it out.Mom14: Wow looks like I missed our first MGF drama. I hope she finds the support she needs but I won't miss all the excuses. The last thing we need when we're trying to acheive a healthy lifestyle are excuses. I hope that someone will call me out if I get too far off track.__________________________________________________________________________________________________________For 2 hours, they continued to bash me. This totally contradicts the "In general I think people were very tolerant, patient, and helpful." comment from mom 12 listed above dontcha think? They were wasting time answering my questions. Now I do admit some of the ladies were sincere and I will miss talking to them, but such a hateful crowd, nope, not in the least. I will continue on my path to a healthy life WITHOUT them. They can keep their snide backstabbing, two-faced selves to each other and personally I hope they rot in hell. I may not be perfect. I may not know everything. But one thing I'm sure about is I do not want to be where I'm not wanted, and by these hurtful comments, that's exactly where I was. It's no wonder I was never motivated to do anything while in that group... the negative energy just oozed out around them.
Remember: Karma will get you in the end!
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